I didn’t so well in my classes last semester.
I mean, yeah, I passed my psychology courses with flying colors; that’s easy to me. It’s natural. It’s interesting. I like figuring out the how and why of people being the way they are.
But the STEM-type courses didn’t end so well, and I think it’s because I did the same thing I do every semester: overwork.
I have a really bad habit of spreading myself too thin, “like butter scraped over too much bread” to quote a favorite Hobbit.
It’s exhausting. It’s inhibiting. It keeps me from doing the things I need to do at any sort of decency. Things get half-assed and skimmed over and neglected and forgotten.
And I end up worn out trying to juggle so many balls so high in the air.
It’s difficult to decide if I’d rather do many things adequately, or do just a few things exceptionally. Which is more impressive?
I should be asking: which is healthier?
While I was in Palacios, over New Years, Lindsey and I created vision boards. Hers is perfectly her; they’re sky-high and attainable goals because she won’t let them be anything but.
I was unusually realistic with my goals this year. I set a goal for my savings account balance and for blog followers. I pasted a picture of El Salvador to remind myself of the missions trip coming up in August. I added Bible verses and a picture of the drafted cover of my book; I want to get it finalized and formatted for print by the end of the year. I put the Etsy logo — motivation to get that up and running again.
Mom saw it when she came into my room the other day, and noticed the white space, saying that she appreciated it. That it wasn’t clustery and cluttered.
And I think a lightbulb went off?
I made a belated resolution: the allow white space in all areas of my life. To say no when I need to rest and to leave hours unattached in my calendar. To stare at a wall like I used to after long shifts at the restaurant, when I really needed to not think for a while. Because scheduling every second of every day and saying yes to every excursion is really unhealthy.
Thinking about how quickly last semester flew by is blowing my mind — I’ll be out of this little corner in just a handful of months.