I’ve been reading Revelation, and the further I get into it, the more I realize that there isn’t an explanation for everything written in scripture. A year ago – even a few weeks ago – that bothered me. I like to know what, in detail, and why.
But the more narrowly my faith is focused on Jesus, the more at peace I become with the fact that I’m not in charge here. I don’t and won’t have all of the answers. There isn’t an explanation for everything written in scripture, and it’s terrifying, but it’s also liberating. There’s a release in knowing that there’s no pressure to know it all or be good enough, because I’m not.
But he still showers us with grace and with love and with joy.
I am sitting at my drop leaf table with my string lights plugged in and post-rock music playing from my speakers. The Curly Haired Wonder is perched on my window seat, nose buried in a book of poetry. My room smells like coffee and peppermint. My fingertips are sore from picking up my guitar for the first time this year. The sky is sad and overcast, seeping through the window and into the room instead of streaming in cheery, yellow rays like it usually does.
A brief update: I am about to go into my last round of classes at BC. Summer is looking good; Summer is going to look like the last 9 credit hours I need for my Associate of Arts and nannying my Little Bit every other week and tutoring up in the WC. It’s going to look like adventures with my darlings and late nights of reading and concerts and family road trips and a renewing of my love for tea, because this coffee addiction is resurrecting my anxiety.
I’m sorry I’m rather absent from the blogosphere ~ this semester has been tough and I haven’t had the time. But I’m making it, and they’re making it, and we’re all okay, or going to be.