Refocusing.

Currently curled up on the make-shift window seat in my room, soaking in the sunshine and the crisp breeze that January is blowing in ~

It has been an extremely rough couple of weeks.  And I’m kind of getting the vibe that this is life; circumstances are difficult, you work through them, and as soon as you’ve worked through them, you get hit with another volley of difficulties.

I feel like my blog is a crutch; I feel like this is my Facebook.  This is where I go to post my not-so-faceless rants about the world, because, once again, that’s what I find myself here for.

But then I go to write about these circumstances I’ve found myself in, and I find myself without words.  I find myself without words that will will produce anything of substance, that will do any good.

It has always been that way when I try to talk, verbally; it has very rarely been that way when I try to write.

I feel like when I blog, it has to be deep and insightful.  It has to be full of Jesus and empowering, or moving, or something more than what I originally began blogging for – and then I realize that I don’t even know why I began blogging.  I was following a trend.  I wanted people to notice me.  I wanted to be flattered for my words.

Shallow.  Selfish.  Immature.

And now I don’t know.  Because it is still a trend, but I don’t blog to fit in.  I do still blog because I want people to notice me, but I also blog because I feel like I don’t have another place to share my words.  I blog because sometimes I long for people to read my work and to give me feedback or praise.

I want to blog because I want someone, anyone, to trip across my blog and think, “someone else gets it.  I’m not alone.  Someone else on this earth understands what it’s like.”  I want to be for someone else, what one lady was for me.

I know these circumstances aren’t the end of the world.  I know it will be resolved, and I know we’re all going to be okay.

Victory in Christ.  Where’s that verse?  1 Corinthians 15 . . . verse 57.

. . . He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

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