speed of light.

I am the kind of girl
who wants to do it all.
I will run fast,
faster than light
or sound
to get the groceries,
to pick up clothes from the cleaners,
to check a box off my to-do list.
I can go from
zero to sixty
faster than you can blink.
It’s difficult,
damn near impossible
to hit the breaks
once I get going.
Sometimes I find myself running
so fast,
so hard
I forget to breathe,
to sleep,
to eat;
I begin to waste away,
to emaciate,
into sharp edges
and hard words,
into shaky hands
and an incoherent mind,
into nothing.
I run
so fast,
so hard,
I leave pieces of myself behind
as the wind kicked up by my speed
wears me down
like the river
wears down the pebbles it flows over.

—–

I submitted this last week in creative writing.

Basically, that’s where I’m at.  Everything’s starting to wear me out, but I can’t drop anything, so I’ve got to figure out the balance of getting things done and allowing time for rest.

I kind of feel like I’m starting to repeat myself a lot.

—–

This week is going to be hectic – I have three exams to study for, a literature review for environmental science, an interview for creative writing, conference material to finish developing, a novel to rewrite, and an entire closet full of laundry to wash so that I can pack for the trip I’m going on with my mom.

My room is a wreck, I haven’t finished a book in three weeks, and I think I’ve forgotten how to play every piano piece I’ve ever learned.

Okay, that last one isn’t true.  I played through a bunch this afternoon, so the situation can’t really be all that dire.

Point being: I’m getting hit with the frantic mid-semester feel, and it’s really tempting to slack under the weight of it all.

But I haven’t, and I won’t.  Because I’m capable, because I can handle this.

—–

It is God’s grip on me, not my feeble grip on him, that keeps me safe in the fold of his love.
– Diana Stone

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