a rant.

Ready for a shock?

I identify as a feminist.

Before y’all get worried – no, I’m not going to burn my bras and run around topless.  I’m not going to yell and stomp my high heels at a man who kindly decides to open a door for me.  And I’m not going to support a woman running for any office just for the fact that she’s a she.

I don’t sound like much of a feminist, do I?  I’m not angry.  Well.  I am, but not at the individuals who are too small to cut down an entire sex on their own.

I’m angry at the entire body of people (men and women) who have developed a society that objectifies women and young girls.  I’m angry at the world that has cruelly stressed that a woman’s worth is based on her physical body, the size of her chest, the products she uses in her hair, the powders and gels she uses on her face, or her ability to bear children and run a home.

I’m angry that there are women who can’t walk down the street without being taunted and tormented by men who see them, not as people with thoughts and opinions and ambitions, but as cattle-like beings who were placed on this earth for purpose of being a plaything for men.

I’m angry that a straight forward and simple “no” isn’t a good answer when a woman is asked out on a date with a man, because there has to be some excuse in order to save his ego.

I’m angry that women are payed less and harassed more and in danger of being drugged and raped and even killed because there are people out there who believe we’re objects.  That we’re incapable of being independent because we’re the “weaker sex”.

I’m.  Angry.

I don’t care about a fight for “equality”.  I really don’t care whether it’s a man or a woman in an office, or even that women aren’t considered qualified for some jobs or even hobbies simply because they’re women.

I care that we’re slut shamed for wearing a tank top and shorts to school on a hot day or gazed at disapprovingly for developing muscles that sharpen our bodies, bodies that should, apparently, stay soft and gentle and weak.

A couple of weeks ago at the wednesday night youth service, a friend of mine said that strong girls “intimidate” him.

Girls who are physically strong scare him.

It didn’t just make angry.  It infuriated me.

I’ve been taught all of my life that women are the weaker sex.  Keep our elbows in, sit with our ankles crossed.  We have to be more conscious of how our bodies are presented than boys do, because we’re responsible for their thoughts and actions, as well as our own.  We have to keep quiet and take up less room and be careful not to offend, because it’s a direct blow to his manhood if a woman dares to speak up for herself.  He’s at risk of feeling inferior if a woman tries to act like anything less than an insipid mouse, scurrying behind the scenes so as not to draw attention to herself.

I call bullshit.

There isn’t anything, anywhere that says I can’t be strong.  There isn’t anything, anywhere, that says I can’t be intelligent, that I can’t be independent or brave or wise just because I’m a girl.

But being strong and independent and brave and wise doesn’t mean suppressing gentleness and kindness and other characteristics generally associated with women.

It isn’t all or nothing and I just feel like the world needs to understand that.



  1. “But being strong and independent and brave and wise doesn’t mean suppressing gentleness and kindness and other characteristics generally associated with women.

    It isn’t all or nothing and I just feel like the world needs to understand that.”

    That’s good stuff, there. Well said, my strong, independent, brave, and wise girl. Well said.


  2. I’ll echo what your parents have already said and add that being the weaker vessel is to be cherished and honored. It is not your suppression into an inferior role, without the freedom to be strong or even independent. As your husband, God willing, shall someday be the head of your household, just as Christ is his head, the burden is on him to love you even more than his own body, to shower you with prayer and encouragement, and quench any bitterness before it takes root in your hearts.

    Husbands and men that claim to follow Christ are called to an even higher standard, not lower, than their wives in terms of modesty, capturing lustful desires and sinful meanderings. I share your anger with the plight of the world and our evaporating morals, but the blame is squarely on the men, not the women, for failing to uphold the standard of God’s word.


  3. I’d like to add one additional thought — a man who recognizes you for the unique and lovely creation of God that you are will not try to force you into some MANMADE image of the “perfect” woman. While there is nothing wrong with baking your own bread, wearing denim skirts, and/or hollering for someone else to grab the RAID can if you’re afraid of roaches, these are not prerequisites for holiness. And anyone who tries to tell you that you must fulfill a checklist of specific requirements that are not spelled out in the Bible is wrong.

    Sadly, there are those who think God needs help — that they need to add “subentries” between the lines in the Bible to clarify what God meant. That’s why it is so important that you know and study His word for yourself — even after you marry, if you marry someday! Iron sharpens iron and just as you should measure anything you hear from the pulpit against the Word, so should you measure anything you hear from your parents, your friends, your (future) husband against the Word — and ask that God reveal His truth to you through the Holy Spirit.

    My prayer for you is that you continue to grow in your relationship with the Lord and become the unique person He created you to be. That you’ll find His perfect will for your life and whatever shape that takes (single, married, career woman, homemaker), you’ll find peace and contentment. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that there are seasons for all things (Ecclesiastes 3). So do not stress about what is to come, but focus on the here and now and what God has for you in this time.


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